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Why some people may never find their true mate

So many people ask me why they cannot find their true mate  or a satisfactory relationship that I thought it would be timely to extract this chapter I wrote for The Soulmate Myth which explores that question. Why some people may never find their true mate Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing.                                       The…

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So many people ask me why they cannot find their true mate  or a satisfactory relationship that I thought it would be timely to extract this chapter I wrote for The Soulmate Myth which explores that question. Why some people may never find their true mate Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing.                                       The Mirror Cards To make life bearable, to avoid loneliness, to fill a huge hole, to enable them to feel complete, to give them children, are all reasons given by my clients who ask how they can find their soulmate. Such reasons are inherently selfish, they seek to make the small-self happy, rather than the other person or the eternal Self and that is not a good basis for relationship. Rarer, but more positive, are the people who ask how they can find someone with whom to grow and evolve. Occasionally, someone will say: ‘I feel I have much to offer a partner.’ The one thing all these people have in common is that they are searching for someone with whom to spend their life and become whole. And yet, I have as many if not more letters from people who are married and trying to find a way out as it has not lived up to their expectations. In her book on the work of the American seer Edgar Cayce, Gina Cerminera comments: The French have a brilliant epigram on the subject of the married and the non-marital state: ‘Marriage is like a beseiged fortress: those who are outside want to get in; those who are inside want to get out.’ … Marriage has brought so much psychological misery to so many people that it seems almost surprising that other people should still consider the married state a desirable one, that they should still be able to disregard its many threats to peace of mind and see only its promises of felicity. And yet … the unmarried generally have a sense of having been cheated of something precious – a sense of frustration and failure.’ That sense of frustration and failure is extremely real, judging from my post bag. Whilst the single state may well be a positive choice, with the soul learning lessons of self-sufficiency, self-worth and other such qualities, it is rarely perceived as that. From over thirty five years of looking at this issue, it appears that some people are simply not destined for marriage. They may well have made that choice at a soul level but are having difficulty adjusting to it here in the physical world. Comparatively few people are happy with their single state – and those who are rarely need to consult a karmic astrologer to find out why. Most souls for whom the single state is an issue either do not find a partner or, having found a partner, the marriage is not destined to last. I regularly get letters from both men and women whose partners have died shortly after marriage, or who move out of the relationship swiftly, leaving them alone again. In the past, such people often dedicated themselves to the church, or to family obligations. Men could go off to war or some solitary pursuit, but women were limited in their alternative outlets. Nowadays, of course, sex is more widely available; women as well as men devote themselves to their career, and women can conceive children without having a partner just as men can adopt. Nevertheless, I am regularly consulted by women, and men, who feel that, whilst perfectly happy with their lives, they nevertheless suspect that they may be missing out on something- and equally by people who are in a perfectly good marriage with a non-soulmate who wonder if there could be something more. In some astrological charts there may be indications of a ‘blockage’ – such as an old vow or ingrained belief or an unresolved issue around sexuality and gender or intimacy. But there are times when there is nothing obvious in the astrology. In such cases, it can be helpful to go back to pre-birth to look at their life-plan for the current incarnation or to examine the karmic reasons for not attracting a mate – something which requires a skilled guide or expert in far memory. Edgar Cayce did many readings on this kind of question. He told one frustrated spinster, for example, that several lifetimes back she had been married with two children. Her husband ‘fell into disgrace in his community’ and she committed suicide in a fit of post natal depression. According to Cayce, her failure to find a partner now was because she deprived her husband and children of the love they needed then. As she had not honoured her responsibility to her family, nor appreciated family bonds, in her present life she was to go without these things because through their lack she would appreciate their worth. In my experience, such an extreme measure would only occur after several lives as karma is not a punishment but rather a balancing out. It is usually undertaken with the cooperation of the soul after careful planning in the between-life state but can occasionally be a wake-up call that is imposed on a soul who is deeply entrenched in a negative pattern. In another reading Cayce told a woman who had had a love affair which was purely physical with great psychological incompatibility, since when she had been alone, that she too had committed suicide and abandoned a child, and so was deprived of one in her present life. In that other life she had been proud, haughty, self-willed and arrogant and died rather than suffer humiliation. In her present life, she exhibited exactly those same qualities again, together with an independence and brusqueness of manner that put prospective partners off. She was prone to fits of black depression, during which she contemplated suicide. After the reading, she never again wished to commit suicide [suicide is not necessarily a negative karmic choice although Cayce usually seemed to feel it was]. Cayce also told her that she could expect to marry much later in life after she had made herself as helpful as possible to all with whom she came in contact. In that way she would make herself ‘worthy of marriage’ (Cayce’s words), which was the karmic purpose of her present incarnation. For her, it was not the suicide which led to her single state, but rather the carry-over of the traits that had caused the suicide in the first place. What many people are usually looking for in a partner is someone to make them feel complete, to fill in the gaps as it were. The doctrine of karma, however, says that they should seek to develop the missing qualities within their own self. So, if they are looking for love, they should practice love at every opportunity – which does not mean becoming promiscuous but rather showing unconditional, compassionate love and an open heart whenever and where possible, even in the smallest of ways. Lack of a partner is so often regarded as being a negative condition when it can be a positive one. Being single may have been part of the soul plan for the present incarnation. You may be learning the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely often brings dependence and barriers. It shuts off from spiritual comfort or insight and is constantly looking ‘out there’ for answers. Being alone could, however, bring strength and independence, an ability to be happy in your own company and to practise self-love and self-cherishing. It can offer the opportunity for spiritual insights gained through meditation, and the possibility of knowing your inner self more intimately. People usually encounter what they expect. If at a deep level you feel unlovable, unworthy, inadequate or inferior, for whatever reason, this is what will be attracted. So, one of the most powerful ways to find a true mate can be to learn to love yourself – not in a selfish, self-centred way but in a way that validates and appreciates who and what you are in the fullness of your whole being and change your expectations into something positive and life-affirming (see chapter l8 of The Soulmate Myth). Setting too high standards can be one of the pitfalls in finding a mate. If a previous experience was of perfection, then anything else tends to disappoint. If it wasn’t perfect back then, at death or in the between life state the soul might have decided it has to be now. Many people go into relationship expecting – or demanding – that everything should be instantly right. If it were there would perhaps be no way to evolve or grow together and you would stultify unless you were in a twinflame relationship. On the other hand, if you have always settled for something less, and therefore been disappointed in love, then, once again, that expectation will probably manifest once more unless you reprogram it. If a soul has taken a vow of celibacy in another life, unless this was rescinded, there will remain a certain ‘untouchable air’ about that person. They may make subtle movements of distaste and rejection that are perceived subliminally by a potential partner, who backs off. Disappointment or hurt in love, the decision that: ‘I’ll never risk that again’, can have much the same effect. It is as though the aura freezes as well as the emotions – and prospective partners intuitively read the signals the aura gives out and so stay well away. There will be a deep conflict, consciously the person wants to receive love, subconsciously a little voice inside is warning: ‘Remember that decision you made, well it was good sense, you’ll only get hurt again’. Once you recognise that voice and, where possible, find out where it is coming from and shut it down or reframe it, then a new attitude is possible. Why it may be inappropriate to marry           Times are changed with him who marries; there are no more by-path meadows, where you may innocently linger, but the road lies long and straight and dusty to the grave.                              Robert Louie Stevenson Edgar Cayce did a great many relationship readings – some of which specifically referred to the karma embedded in a prospective relationship. In response to a question as to whether marriage would be best for a couple’s mutual development, he replied that it might be so, but that there were other potential partners with whom their growth would be better served, especially as they had some karma which would be particularly hard to deal with as husband and wife. In that case Cayce clearly felt that the couple should not marry although he didn’t say so outright. When asked a similar question by another couple, however, he stated starkly: ‘No’ but gave no reason. In other readings he left the couple to make up their own mind – which is what an astrologer or other counsellor, no matter how intuitive and spiritually aware is well advised to do. You can set out the factors as you read them and then leave your client to make the decision. Anything else is risking karmic enmeshment with your client. In response to one couple’s enquiry as to whether they should marry or was there someone else with whom they could each be happier, Cayce retorted that he could name twenty five or thirty – going on to say that marriage was what you made it. But he followed this up by saying that the couple did have an issue that would have to be worked on together sooner or later, and so the choice was up to them. In commenting on this and the inadvisability of marriage in certain cases, Gina Cerminara points out that the souls, despite having mutual karma, may well have other lessons to learn which are more important than the one they would learn together. In my work, I have certainly found this to be the case. The couple may also have lessons that they could learn better apart than together - although sometimes a couple are ‘rehearsing’ for a later relationship where they will face the deeper issues with the person with whom they arose in another life. It may be that one soul actually needs an experience of being alone, for instance. Gina Cerminara goes on to say that some couples should not marry because one of the souls may be ‘spiritually insolvent’. In other words, he or she has not yet developed the inner strength needed to face and work through the karmic difficulty. There are also cases, she feels, where the marriage would be ‘too extreme a penalty for the delinquency, or the punishment does not fit the crime’. That is to say, whilst there may be some karma between a couple who are attracted to each other, it would not be sufficient reason for them to become embroiled in what would, or could possibly, develop into a difficult passage due to other considerations. Karma is, of course, an on-going process and what is set in motion now will have to be met in the future. Some people are still dealing with the consequences of unwise choices in previous lives, setting themselves the task of learning discrimination in relationships If this is so, it would be wise to postpone marriage until the issues have been unpicked as it were as otherwise the couple may find themselves tied together for a repeat lifetime in which they go round and round over the same old ground. Sexuality and gender may well be hidden agendas behind failure to find a marriage or life partner, or in a marriage breaking down. There are souls that are suffering from a resistance to a gender change that has taken place. Extremely masculine women, for example, or effeminate men may be resisting moving into a new experience and, therefore, do not find a suitable partner because they are unconsciously looking in the wrong direction – something which can affect all and anyone at one time or another not just those who have changed gender. As we have seen, the incarnating soul may well have intended to have a same-sex relationship in order to develop certain qualities only available through that interaction, but society’s mores may have pushed them into a more conventional marriage. As many men, and women, with same-sex leanings have found to their cost, marriage to the opposite sex does not provide a cure. If anything, it exacerbates the yearning. Until such time as the soul adapts to the new gender in whatever way is appropriate, it might be more constructive to be alone. Still other people are still working on the continuity principle or karmic treadmill. Many people believe they will recognise their perfect partner instantly, and dismiss anyone that does not match up to this idealised picture – usually without even recognising the selection process has taken place or that they are looking for a partner from the past rather than for the present life. If such a person does find a match, they will marry for that reason – deluding themselves that everything will be perfect but it seldom is. In other continuity cases, old messages around love could still be operating and affecting the possibility of attracting a partner. Until such messages have been changed, it may be better not to enter a relationship. On the other hand, a soul in a previous life may have made a decision, or taken a particular stance, and it carries over from life to life as attitudinal karma. So, for example, a woman may have decided in another life to resist love, the keep herself pure for Jesus or some such. Or a man may have formulated a heartfelt desire to remain single and unattached. Such decisions carry forward and may need reframing but it might be better for the soul to live out the consequences of that earlier decision until it has been fully experienced and the soul is ready to move on. Notwithstanding, there are people for whom an informed decision to remain single will be a positive act. I knew a man who had become a monk in his present life, at a young age, despite his determination not to. He thought he had no vocation, and yet found an aptitude for the work. Having been a teacher, he moved into counselling. In his forties, he fell in love. Totally, head over heels, blissfully. But he decided not to marry. Having carefully considered the matter, he felt that he could help far more people through his spiritual and counselling work than he could gain personal satisfaction from marriage. He lived within a small community of brothers who shared a spiritual life that sustained him. When he looked at his past lives, he had already experienced relationships and children. He then had an interim life where, although married, he felt a powerful pull to solitude and spiritual work. Something which was only resolved at the very end of that life after the death of his wife. By the time his present incarnation came along, his soul felt ready to move onto a different way of giving and sharing of himself. For him, his single state was a positive affirmation of who he was. Once people view their single state as complete in itself rather than as a lack they can be much more positive about their relationship to the wider whole. This gives them an opportunity to find strengths and develop qualities within themselves that could not have been accessed had they married. Who says a twinflame has to be human? As a P.S. I’d add that if you don’t have a relationship with a human being, then maybe a crystal skull is waiting to enter your life. It will never be dull with one of those around and they can be extremely supportive in converting loneliness to at-one-ment. Here are a few examples from my friends at Skullis. [gallery size="medium" link="file" ids="5479,5473,5475,5477,5472,5476,5478"] You can read more about crystal skulls in my book on the subject or obtain The Soulmate Myth from any good book supplier.

The Crystal Love Ritual (Extended Version)

Crystals have been used for thousands of years to attract and enhance love. Ancient jewellery was much more than mere adornment, the beautiful stones were often dedicated to the goddess of love, Venus under her many guises – Aphrodite in Greece, Inanna or Ishtar in Babylon, Hathor in Egypt – and drew love and devotion…

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[caption id="attachment_5153" align="alignleft" width="200"] The stone of unconditional love, Rose Quartzc. Michael Illas The Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle[/caption] Crystals have been used for thousands of years to attract and enhance love. Ancient jewellery was much more than mere adornment, the beautiful stones were often dedicated to the goddess of love, Venus under her many guises - Aphrodite in Greece, Inanna or Ishtar in Babylon, Hathor in Egypt – and drew love and devotion to the wearer. Although her reputation was light and flirtatious, amorous Venus symbolised much more than romantic love, she was – and still is - a goddess of lust and erotic desire as well as undying affection. Her stones draw passion to you, no matter what age you may be. Traditionally, pink and green-blue stones belonged to the Goddess of Love but the oldest association of all – over 5000 years – is with the scintillating Lapis Lazuli, the deep blue of the night sky shot through with gold. The Babylonian goddess Inanna (Venus) carried Lapis Lazuli measuring rods which laid out a person’s destiny. So, if you want to draw love into your life, using Venus stones makes perfect sense. You can wear them, keep them under your pillow or by your bed, or place them in your bath, but the most potent method of all is to carry out a ritual with them. [caption id="attachment_5149" align="alignright" width="300"] Lapis Lazuli c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladditions.co.uk[/caption] Venus stones: Rose Quartz. Rhodochrosite, Cobaltocalcite, Mangano Calcite,  Danburite, Rhodochrosite, Green Aventurine (for love in later life), Almandine Garnet, Kunzite, Larimar, Sugilite, Pink Tourmaline, Pink Topaz, Ruby, Garnet, Tugtupite,Turquoise. [caption id="attachment_5152" align="alignleft" width="300"] Rhodochrosite c. Michael Illas, Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle[/caption] The attracting love affirmation: ‘I attract love into my life, my life is full of love right now, my life is full of abundant love. I am a magnet for love, right now.’ Repeat the love affirmation several times a day while holding the piece of Rose Quartz or Rhodochrosite. Phrase it in the now rather than saying ‘I will attract’, to bring it into instant manifestation. If you ask the goddess Venus for help in your quest, the affirmation is that much more powerful. Soulmate or twinflame? Before you ask for love think hard about what you really want. Most people are looking for their soulmate but a word of caution here. Soulmates are partners to whom we are drawn across lifetimes, often because we have unfinished business, lessons to learn or a promise to keep. They are not always the blissful experience we imagine.  Fortunately even this kind of soulmate relationship can benefit from the gentle energy of crystals but you may prefer to ask your crystal to bring you a different kind of love: a twinflame. A twinflame is your true soul partner, who arrives without baggage. A twinflame is a life companion who loves you unconditionally and with whom you enjoy mental empathy, emotional rapport, spiritual connection, unconditional support, friendship, joy  and physical fulfilment, someone totally compatible. Be very specific about which kind of love you want when programming your crystal. The crystal you use will be the same, the difference is in what you ask for. A soulmate or twinflame crystal has two equal sized crystals, joined on one side possibly sharing a common base – which makes it that much more physical. Place the crystal under running water to purify it, hold it in your hands and ask that the crystal will draw to your side your soulmate or twinflame – whichever you have decided upon. Then put it in the love corner of your bedroom. The love corner Where you place your crystals is vital. Nothing is more effective at attracting and sustaining love than Rose Quartz. But it needs to be in the right place. Place a big chunk of this beautiful stone, which you have rinsed in running water to purify it and then held in your hands for a few moments while you invoke love, in the relationship corner of your home. This is the far right corner from the front door or the door of your bedroom. You can also place it by your bed and you won’t have to wait long for love. Rose Quartz is also a vital part of the Attracting Love Ritual. The attracting love ritual Rituals to attract love are highly potent. The Attracting Love Ritual uses Rose Quartz and Danburite but you can substitute any of the love attractor crystals. Romantic Rose Quartz is prized for attracting and offering unconditional love. Its effect can be surprisingly powerful for such a gentle stone as Rose Quartz is tender and passionate, erotic and exciting. Adding Danburite emphasises the twinflame aspect of love. This crystal packs a powerful punch into a small piece. If you want loving companionship, replace Danburite with Sugilite. But if it’s a hot date you are after, replace the Danburite with lusty Ruby or fiery Garnet, powerful attractors of erotic love. Green Aventurine invites passion into the lives of those of more mature years and enables love to be ongoing. The crystals should be purified, dedicated and pre-programmed before use. . It is traditional to bathe and wear clean clothes when working a ritual and pink or red clothes are appropriate depending on whether you want romance or red-hot passion. Burning a smudge or joss stick prepares the room and you can anoint yourself with rose oil. Pink candles set the scene and appropriate background music assists your concentration. When carrying out the ritual, consciously make your movements slow, moving with voluptuous intent. If you already have a partner, rather than calling in your twinflame, ask that more love will manifest between you and that the relationship becomes the best that it has the potential to be. Timing rituals Anciently the power of the moon was used to enhance rituals. Rituals to attract something new into your life are best done on a new moon. Rituals to let something go out of your life are best carried out at full moon. The attracting love ritual You will need: 4 Rose Quartz l Danburite 4 candles and Rose Quartz holders Ritual: Attracting love Place your crystals and four candles on a table covered with a silk cloth. Position one candle to the north, welcoming in love from that direction as you light it. Then place one to the south, east and west, again welcoming love from each direction. Ask that the light from these candles act as guardian and keep you safe, attracting the highest manifestation of love. Take your Rose Quartz crystals into your hands and sit down facing your table (if the crystals are large, hold one at a time). Close your eyes and quietly attune to the crystals. Let their energy flow through your hands, up your arms and into your heart. As the energy reaches your heart, feel it open out and expand. Touch the crystals to your heart. Rose Quartz is a powerful heart cleanser and healer so allow your heart to be purified by the energies of the crystals. Then say, out loud: ‘I am a magnet for love. I welcome love into my heart and love into my life’. Place the crystals on the table and pick up the Danburite. Say out loud: ‘I call on my twinflame to be present and to manifest fully and lovingly in my life’ [or, ‘I call on the love between my partner and myself to manifest to its highest potential, fully and unconditionally loving and supporting us both’.]. Sit quietly for a few moments with your eyes focussed on the crystals. Picture what your life is like when you have the fully unconditional and mutually supportive love of your twinflame at your side [or when you and your partner manifest all the love that is possible between you]. Send that picture out into the future, unrolling it before you so that you can walk that path. When you are ready to complete the ritual, get up and blow out each candle in turn saying: ‘I send light and love into the world and it returns to me tenfold.’  Either leave the crystals on the table, or place them around your bed. Crystal Aphrodisiacs Crystals are powerful aphrodisiacs, activating the subtle sexual centres in your body, known as chakras (see diagram on page xx), so that sexual energy is highly charged, inhibitions are removed, and love is given and exchanged freely. Your sex life is greatly enhanced if you and your partner share a sexual recharge, placing the stones on each other as part of foreplay or enfolding them between your bodies during lovemaking (use gently rounded tumbled stones for comfort). Aphrodisiac crystals also work well when tucked under your pillow or placed strategically around your living or bedroom. An excellent way to enjoy them with your partner is to take a crystal love bath together. Aphrodisiac crystals [caption id="attachment_5151" align="alignright" width="300"] Pink Tourmaline in Snow Quartz c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladditions.co.uk[/caption] Pink Tourmaline                 If you want to spice up your love life, or need a little help in the love department, look no further than Pink Tourmaline. This beautiful stone stimulates your libido and encourages you to share physical pleasure with your lover. It is particularly effective made into a gem essence and rubbed on your wrists before bed. Red Jasper An excellent stone for stimulating your libido and for prolonging your sexual pleasure, Red Jasper energises and cleanses the sexual organs and is particularly appropriate for men. Orange Carnelian A recharging crystal, vibrant Orange Carnelian energises the creative centres, overcomes impotence or frigidity, and restores vitality to the female reproductive organs. Smoky Quartz                           If you have any hang-ups about sexual matters, Smoky Quartz helps you to accept that sex is a normal and natural – and highly enjoyable – part of life. It enhances virility and cleanses the sexual centres so that your passion flows freely. Rose Quartz                             Opening your heart centre, Rose Quartz restores love and trust between you and your partner. It teaches you how to love yourself and to receive love from someone else. This stone is said to increase your fertility.                    Red Garnet                                  Promoting passion and increasing your sexual potency, Red Garnet revives and revitalises your sex life. Red-Black Mahogany Powerful Red-Black Mahogany increases virility and stamina, keeping you grounded in your body so that sex becomes a full-body experience. Variscite                          If you or your partner find your interest in sex flagging, Variscite restores your libido, increases sexual energy and helps you to bring more unconditional love into the situation. Pietersite                                                    The perfect stone to use when old vows of celibacy have been holding you back. Pietersite resolves your internal conflicts and increases your stamina. Virility crystals Smoky Quartz: Smoky Quartz is an excellent stone for improving your virility. As is a Shiva Lingam or Red Jasper. Place the crystal over your lower chakras to cleanse, purify and energise them, or rub the gem essence over your lower abdomen. [caption id="attachment_5156" align="alignleft" width="300"] Smoky Quartz c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladditions.co.uk[/caption] Shiva Lingam: a traditional stone for virility, Shiva Lingam traditionally brings masculine and feminine energies into harmony. [caption id="attachment_5155" align="alignright" width="200"] Shiva Lingam c. Michael Illas Earth Blessings[/caption] Additional stones for virility: Red-Black Obsidian, Red Jasper, Carnelian, Zircon Sharing unconditional love Unconditional love is the most constructive basis for relationships of any kind. If partners share truly unconditional love it is mutually supportive and trust-enhancing. Unconditional love means loving someone ‘warts and all’, accepting them as they are without trying to force them to change, but it does not mean getting tangled up in their dramas and traumas. It is non-manipulative and non-coercive. It means seeing that they are the most wonderful person in the world (we all are!), but accepting that sometimes they may not behave as though they are and there is nothing to be done about that. It means standing placidly by offering loving acceptance whilst someone sorts out their own life, not doing it for them. It means saying: ‘I love you and I am taking care of myself by staying in a good space within myself’. Unconditional love sets boundaries, but for yourself not the other person. It certainly does not mean being walked all over, abused or any of the myriad forms of victimisation or domination that sometimes pass for unconditional love. Sometimes the most loving thing you do for someone is to walk away. All crystals radiate unconditional love but certain crystals encourage you to love unconditionally. Wear Cymophane, soft pink Danburite, gentle Tugtupite or radiant Petalite on a long chain over your heart. Or try Sugilite (often known as Luvulite or ‘the Love Stone’). A Selenite pillar in your home ensures an abundant supply of unconditional love. Crystalline Kyanite is a useful stone to smooth the way for unconditional love in lasting relationships, for which it needs two stones – one for each person. The stones can be programed to enhance appropriate intuitive communication between the two people concerned and to bring harmony and unconditional love to the partnership. Ritual:  sharing unconditional love [caption id="attachment_5154" align="alignleft" width="300"] Selenite Eggs c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladditions.co.uk[/caption] You will need: 2 Selenite or Rose Quartz eggs or hearts Most potent time: new moon Sit facing your partner in a softly lit room – candlelight is ideal. Each hold your crystal cupped in your hands and look deeply into each other’s eyes. Now close your eyes for a few minutes and feel the unconditional love radiating out from the crystal, moving up your arms, across your shoulders and down into your heart. Feel how the energy opens and warms your heart. Put your crystal on your heart and feel the love go to your partner’s heart. Now open your eyes and look deep into your partner’s eyes again, looking with the eyes of unconditional love and sharing that quality. Place your crystal over your partner’s heart and hold it there while your partner puts a crystal to your heart. Keeping your eyes and hearts open, share the unconditional love between you. When you are ready, put the crystals down but allow the unconditional love to continue. Understanding each other If you have difficulty in understanding your partner, or feel that your partner does not understand you, or you simply want to understand each other better, seek the help of Sugilite. This gentle, loving stone brings light into the darkest of situations. It is beneficial if you each carry a similar sized stone that has been magnetised to its twin. It is also beneficial to meditate together for ten minutes morning and evening, each holding a stone and focusing on opening communication between your hearts. Intimacy and loving communication To encourage loving communication between yourself and your partner, each carry a piece of tranquil Kunzite or the beautiful sparky Crystalline Kyanite and hold one whenever you need to have a frank discussion as it keeps things calm between you. The soft flakes of Muscovite open your heart to intimate sharing and dissolve doubt whilst Hemimorphite encourages open and honest emotional communication. Additional stones for intimacy and loving communication: Lapis Lazuli, Turquoise, Blue Lace Agate, Strombolite Infidelity Emerald has traditionally known as ‘the stone of successful love’, as it induces domestic bliss and keeps a relationship in balance but there are times when it beyond the power of an Emerald to hold a relationship together. If this stone changes colour, it is said to warn of unfaithfulness. If you suspect a male partner may be straying, gift him a Turquoise. It too changes colour when there is a danger of infidelity. If a female partner is the object of suspicion, try the age-old test of placing a piece of Magnetite under her pillow. If she falls out of bed during the night or calls out a name that is not yours, your suspicions are confirmed. However, suspicion is a negative emotion and is not beneficial to your relationships. It would be better to use restoring trust stones to help you replace suspicion with trust, your partner is sure to repay you with faithfulness. Repeat the trust affirmation each morning looking into your eyes in a mirror whilst holding a restoring trust stone. The trust affirmation: ‘I am loving, I am trusting, I open my heart to trust.’ Restoring trust crystals: Garnet, Rhodonite, Kunzite, Rose Quartz, Pink or Watermelon Tourmaline [caption id="attachment_5157" align="alignright" width="245"] Watermelon Tourmaline, c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladitions.co.uk[/caption] It may, however, be time to recognise that this relationship has come to its natural end and that it is time to move on. In which case, choose stones that support your strength and encourage moving on such as Rainbow Obsidian and refer to my book The Soulmate Myth? for a tie-cutting ritual to release each partner to go their own way. Healing a broken heart. If you’ve had your heart broken and are finding it difficult to love again, let crystals gently heal your heartbreak. Agate Strong but slow working, Agate heals bitterness of the heart. It is particularly useful when the heartbreak is deeply entrenched and is accompanied by resentment or a sense of having been betrayed. It dissolves anger and gives you the courage to start again. Agate is particularly appropriate for the pulverising the bonds that bind your heart ritual. Blue Lace Agate is excellent for healing childhood wounds, as is Pink Agate. Rainbow Obsidian                Beautiful banded Rainbow Obsidian acts more gently than the solid colour form of Obsidian. It releases past pain, cuts the cords of old love, removes hooks that others have left in your heart, and clears emotional bondage. You may need to wear it for several weeks to complete the healing process. Kunzite                             Pink Kunzite is an excellent healer for depression following break up of a relationship. If your heart is full of emotional debris, tranquil Pink Kunzite dissolves it and brings in unconditional love to heal your heart. Rhodonite      Powerful two-toned Rhodonite is a useful first aid measure when your heart is first broken, and an emotional balancer that brings your heart back on line. It is useful when you have been betrayed and are set on revenge or self-destruction as it ameliorates these feelings. Larimar Soft and gentle Larimar is the ideal stone for healing a broken heart or other trauma that may have closed down the heart as it restores playfulness and child-like joy. Additional Stones for Healing Heartbreak: Rose Quartz, Dioptase, Pink Tourmaline, Morganite (Pink Beryl), Tugtupite. Bringing Love Into Your Environment [caption id="attachment_5088" align="alignleft" width="300"] Amethyst angel. c. Michael Illas[/caption] The delicate petals of a lilac Amethyst flower-formation introduce light and love into your surroundings whilst the womb-like interior of an Amethyst geode encourages compatibility and harmony. Amethyst is particularly effective if you need to bring a lighter vibration to your environment. Program one to attract more love into your neighbourhood. [caption id="attachment_5150" align="alignright" width="200"] A large chunk of Rose Quartz is perfect for sending love out to the world c. Michael Illas, Earth Blessings.[/caption] Sending love to the world Rose Quartz is probably the best universal love stone there is. Program one to send out love to the whole world, neutralizing terror and hostility wherever it finds it and replacing it with unconditional love and forgiveness. Picture this love radiating out from the stone until it surrounds the whole world. Touch the stone each day.  A Selenite pillar works equally well. Extracted from Crystal Love by Judy Hall, Godsfield Press and The Soulmate Myth: a dream come true or your worst nightmare? Flying Horse Books.

In Your Element? (Not everything is about crystals!)

Astrology can be a useful tool to help you feel more at home in your home and improve your well-being. Know your elemental balance, and you know your comfort zone. You can work from your sun-sign alone, but knowing your birthchart and the balance of planets in the elements refines your knowing. Do you have…

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Astrology can be a useful tool to help you feel more at home in your home and improve your well-being. Know your elemental balance, and you know your comfort zone. You can work from your sun-sign alone, but knowing your birthchart and the balance of planets in the elements refines your knowing. Do you have a favourite room in your house? Is there a room you feel uneasy in? Would you like your home to reflect more of your personality? Do you find it difficult to sleep? Do you always row with your partner in one particular room? Do you wake up feeling drained when you sleep in the same bed as your partner? Have you tried Feng Shui and it hasn’t really worked? Astrology may well have the answer. Astrological elements The astrological signs are divided up into four ‘elements’. The elements affect your health, your relationships and your approach to life. People who belong to the same element will tend to experience life in the same way – although that tendency is affected by your own unique birthchart. The Earth Signs Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn, are practical and pragmatic. This element is concerned with the material world, the body and the five senses. Earth signs like physical comfort and order. Home is important and may be a status symbol. An hospitable element, earth likes control the environment. Disharmony in the home may be reflected in physical ailments. The water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are emotional and intuitive. Concerned with feelings and subtle energies, water signs like the atmosphere to be ‘right’. Emotional comfort and feelings are important. Water signs make intuitive rather than rational choices. Home is a place of retreat, somewhere to recharge and be with a loved one. A home that does not feel right will result in emotional dis-ease. The Air Signs Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are rational and head-orientated. Thought prevails, ideas flow freely. Needing an ambience conducive to communication, air homes are sociable places where people come and go freely. The wrong home environment leads to mental stress and an inability to relax. The Fire Signs Aries, Leo and Sagittarius, are impetuous and energetic. Concerned with creativity and the spirit; impractical and somewhat disorganised, the fire element is busy doing. Fire signs take little notice of physical surroundings, and happily put up with temporary discomfort. They want their surroundings to be stimulating and exciting. They can make themselves at home anywhere. The fire element is particularly prone to burn-out. Elemental colour: Earth element: neutral beiges and earthy browns and greens, but Capricorn likes steely colours too. Water element: cool and calm. Blues and silvery greens predominate. Scorpio inclines towards rich deep reds. Air element: light and airy. Yellows and blue-greys. Aquarius looks to electric blues and colours that shock, whilst laid-back Libra prefers a gentler colour-coordinated look. Fire element: strong, bright, stimulating colours; hot and lively. Yellows and reds, or strong blues. This is an element that likes to make an impact! The effect of colour is particularly noticeable where when different elements live together, as when a fire is partnered by a more restrained sign, for example. A peaceful air boudoir is likely to be decked out in soft mauves and pinks, or pale seagreen. A real passion killer for fire, but a relaxing place to sleep for both air and fire elements However, if the whole house was decked out in cool colour, fire would soon be suffering from depression. So a compromise would have to be reached that created areas for each element and mutual space. If a cool water sign had to live in a hot fire environment, steam would soon rise. Water simply could not tolerate living in vivid colours for long. Tempers would fray, and the water sign would end up dried out and dessicated. All the passion would go out of the relationship. A cool space for withdrawing has to be created – ideally the bathroom as this is a water room. Similarly, a fire sign in a watery environment would lose all creativity and verve. Too much water puts out fire, as does an overdose of earth. Separate rooms may be called for here. Air on the other hand fans fire. This combination would have to create an oasis of calm in which to sleep as otherwise they could burn out. Marking your territory Each element has a different approach to personal space. Materialistic Earth is territorial, bricks and mortar matter. Many a Taurean, for instance, stays in an unhappy relationship “because of the house”. An earth sign is quite happy to share personal space, just as long as the ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ boundaries are clearly marked out. This element enjoys entertaining – provided invitations have been issued. Water signs go to two extremes. Both Cancer and Scorpio can be intensely private, jealously protective of personal space, and needing somewhere to withdraw to process the day.  After that, they can happily share mutual space and for Cancer, having the family around is vital.. Pisces on the other hand has problems establishing boundaries and often unwittingly invades other people’s space. This particular water sign sees little need for other people to have their private space – Pisces are so intuitive it is impossible to hide anything from them anyway! Air signs have their personal space inside their head. This element needs to communicate, so an audience is welcomed whether it be a partner, a flatmate or the milkman. Air rarely marks out territorial boundaries of any kind. As most people born under an air sign hate to be alone, their home can have a transient feel, as though it is a merely somewhere to lay a weary head. Air homes are gathering places, meant for a crowd. People are welcome to drop in. Fire signs are independent. Personal space is valued, but the space can be a sleeping bag under the stars, or a favourite chair. Most fire signs have the ability to withdraw into their own inner world if they need to be alone. Self-orientated Aries may well mark out territory. This sign expects other people to adapt, and is prepared to argue the point. But Leo sits back to rule the roost like a benevolent (or not so benevolent) dictator. There is little room for negotiation in a Leo home. Sagittarius is often too busy travelling to establish much of a home base.  This is a sign that values wide open spaces. Partners may well feel neglected when this fiery sign is on the move. When it comes to windows, you need to take your element into account. Big picture windows with wide open vistas make fire and air signs happy, but they may well freak out a water sign who has a need to feel protected. Muslin drapes may be required here. On the other hand, small fussily dressed windows would send a fire sign mad. So, the element to which your sun-sign belongs says a great deal about you. Your home will reflect these innate qualities. If you are in tune with your element, you will have created an atmosphere and chosen colours which display its characteristics. If you do not live in a space which is compatible with your element, it can create problems for you. You will feel uneasy and irritated. Your health will suffer. What happens when my partner belongs to a different element? If your partner has the sun in a completely different element, either you have to incorporate both elements into your home, or one of you will feel increasingly uncomfortable. But, a compromise may create tension unless is satisfies both parties. Practical solutions If you have trouble sleeping, check the colour and layout of your bedroom. You may need to adjust it to be more in tune with your element – or to tone it down. You may find that the colours you instinctively chose are fine for one part of your home but inappropriate for another. Fire signs, for instance, are particularly fond of colours that stimulate. So, a fire sign may paint the whole house a bright, strong yellow or red. Whilst this may be fine for living areas, it is may cause insomnia in the bedroom. Cooling the colour down would make sleep easier. If you and your partner always row in a particular room, look at the colour and check it against both your elements. Is it a room that literally rubs one of you up the wrong way? A change of colour or rearranging the space could well save your relationship! Such changes do not need to be drastic, a new throw and a few cushions in the right colour could make all the difference. Adjustments can be minor – or major. Few earth signs, for instance, are happy without a connection to nature. Even if earth colours have been used, something more may be required. Plants and crystals can make all the difference. But, earth also needs comfort. If an earth sign is trying to sleep in a cramped, small bed; or sit on a hard chair, then new furniture will be called for. If you realise that there is a need for more personal space, you can arrange your rooms accordingly. Even a small space can be colour coordinated to create the feeling of security and relaxation for earth and water signs. A corner of the room or a cupboard which is ‘mine’ may resolve the problem. You may find that more space is required. A small, cluttered room can feel claustrophobic to an element that yearns for space and freedom. So, if being at home makes you feel a need to push the walls out, declutter and paint with an appropriate colour. Create an ‘open vista’ through clever use of mirrors, pictures or window dressing. You don’t fit your element? It may be due to the unique moment of your birth. Astrologically speaking, there are far more planets than the sun alone (in astrology both the sun and the moon are called planets). Most people have a fairly even distribution of planets in the different elements. But some people have an imbalance. Your sun may be the only planet placed in that element. Other elements could be much stronger. Someone who has this imbalance may unconsciously look to a partner to ‘fill in the blanks’. For a time this could work. But the home environment would have to be planned carefully – after consulting an astrologer. A strongly water influence could debilitate fire, for instance. On the other hand, the fire could suck all the energy out of the water. If two people with this imbalance sleep together, one could well wake up in the morning feeling drained. Separate beds may be needed. The Rainbow Obsidian Journey A meditation to help you explore your inner depths to release any toxic trash that is holding you back and reveal the previously hidden gifts. [caption id="attachment_4933" align="alignleft" width="300"] Image copyright rikoo.com, sellers of amazingcrystal skulls and other beauties.[/caption] Settle yourself quietly and breathe gently, withdrawing your attention from the outside world and into the crystal. Keep your eyes half open and gaze at the bands of your Rainbow Obsidian or the photograph. Move the crystal slightly so that it catches the best light to show you the coruscating bands. Feel the strength of the crystal in your hand. Let its energy radiate up your arms and into your heart. As you focus on each band let it take you inwards. Allow the bands to move you gently into contact with your deepest self. When you feel ready, place the crystal over your heart for a few moments. *** Ask the crystal to gently let you know what you are holding onto, what it would be beneficial to release. Let it show you any hooks that are in your heart and gently dissolve these, filling the place with fresh energy and forgiveness. Ask the crystal to compassionately show you how your past is affecting your present in any area of your life. *** Then willingly surrender all that no longer serves you, all the pain and emotions, situations and experiences that have weighed you down and held you back. Acknowledge them and let them be drawn into the crystal for transmutation. Let them go with forgiveness in your heart. *** Now ask the crystal to show you the hidden gifts that lay hidden behind that old pain, the qualities you developed and the resources you can draw on. Allow yourself to know how you will use this. *** Ask the crystal if it has any other information for you and wait quietly for the answer. *** Before you begin the return journey, put your attention out to the subtle bodies around your physical body and ask the crystal to draw off and transmute any negative energies or disharmonies, bringing all the subtle bodies into alignment. Then let the crystal draw off and transmute any negative energy, stress or dis-ease in your physical body. Now feel the strong protection from the crystal that wraps around you in layers. Finally, feel the strength of the crystal and its powerful connection to the earth grounding and rooting you into your physical existence, bringing you fully into the present moment. When you feel ready, thank the crystal, open your eyes and move around. Crystals for an energy top-up Hold or place just below your navel and breathe deeply into the crystal: Carnelian, Red Jasper, Fire Agate, Hematite Quartz [caption id="attachment_4926" align="alignleft" width="200"] Carnelian photographed for The Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle by Michael Illas. C. Watkins Publishing.[/caption] And to protect yourself Use Black Tourmaline, Shungite, Smoky Quartz and Labradorite to protect your energies wherever you are:    

Unconditional Love

Understanding each other If you have difficulty in understanding your partner, or feel that your partner does not understand you, or you simply want to understand each other better, seek the help of Sugilite. This gentle, loving stone brings light into the darkest of situations. It is beneficial if you each carry a similar sized…

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Understanding each other If you have difficulty in understanding your partner, or feel that your partner does not understand you, or you simply want to understand each other better, seek the help of Sugilite. This gentle, loving stone brings light into the darkest of situations. It is beneficial if you each carry a similar sized stone that has been magnetised to its twin. It is also beneficial to meditate together for ten minutes morning and evening, each holding a stone and focusing on opening communication between your hearts. Intimacy and loving communication To encourage loving communication between yourself and your partner, each carry a piece of tranquil Kunzite or the beautiful sparky Crystalline Kyanite and hold one whenever you need to have a frank discussion as it keeps things calm between you. The soft flakes of Muscovite open your heart to intimate sharing and dissolve doubt whilst Hemimorphite encourages open and honest emotional communication. Additional stones for intimacy and loving communication: Lapis Lazuli, Turquoise, Blue Lace Agate, Strombolite Infidelity [caption id="attachment_4710" align="alignleft" width="245"] Watermelon Tourmaline, c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladitions.co.uk[/caption] Emerald has traditionally known as ‘the stone of successful love’, as it induces domestic bliss and keeps a relationship in balance but there are times when it beyond the power of an Emerald to hold a relationship together. If this stone changes colour, it is said to warn of unfaithfulness. If you suspect a male partner may be straying, gift him a Turquoise. It too changes colour when there is a danger of infidelity. If a female partner is the object of suspicion, try the age-old test of placing a piece of Magnetite under her pillow. If she falls out of bed during the night or calls out a name that is not yours, your suspicions are confirmed. However, suspicion is a negative emotion and is not beneficial to your relationships. It would be better to use restoring trust stones to help you replace suspicion with trust, your partner is sure to repay you with faithfulness. Repeat the trust affirmation each morning looking into your eyes in a mirror whilst holding a restoring trust stone. The trust affirmation: ‘I am loving, I am trusting, I open my heart to trust.’ Restoring trust crystals: Garnet, Rhodonite, Kunzite, Rose Quartz, Pink or Watermelon Tourmaline It may, however, be time to recognise that this relationship has come to its natural end and that it is time to move on. In which case, choose stones that support your strength and encourage moving on such as Rainbow Obsidian and refer to my book The Soulmate Myth? for a tie-cutting ritual to release each partner to go their own way. Healing a broken heart. If you’ve had your heart broken and are finding it difficult to love again, let crystals gently heal your heartbreak. Agate Strong but slow working, Agate heals bitterness of the heart. It is particularly useful when the heartbreak is deeply entrenched and is accompanied by resentment or a sense of having been betrayed. It dissolves anger and gives you the courage to start again. Agate is particularly appropriate for the pulverising the bonds that bind your heart ritual. Blue Lace Agate is excellent for healing childhood wounds, as is Pink Agate. Rainbow Obsidian                   Beautiful banded Rainbow Obsidian acts more gently than the solid colour form of Obsidian. It releases past pain, cuts the cords of old love, removes hooks that others have left in your heart, and clears emotional bondage. You may need to wear it for several weeks to complete the healing process. Kunzite                             Pink Kunzite is an excellent healer for depression following break up of a relationship. If your heart is full of emotional debris, tranquil Pink Kunzite dissolves it and brings in unconditional love to heal your heart. Rhodonite Powerful two-toned Rhodonite is a useful first aid measure when your heart is first broken, and an emotional balancer that brings your heart back on line. It is useful when you have been betrayed and are set on revenge or self-destruction as it ameliorates these feelings. Larimar Soft and gentle Larimar is the ideal stone for healing a broken heart or other trauma that may have closed down the heart as it restores playfulness and child-like joy. Additional Stones for Healing Heartbreak: Rose Quartz, Dioptase, Pink Tourmaline, Morganite (Pink Beryl), Tugtupite. Bringing Love Into Your Environment [caption id="attachment_4708" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Amethyst angel. c. Michael Illas[/caption] The delicate petals of a lilac Amethyst flower-formation introduce light and love into your surroundings whilst the womb-like interior of an Amethyst geode encourages compatibility and harmony. Amethyst is particularly effective if you need to bring a lighter vibration to your environment. Program one to attract more love into your neighbourhood. Sending love to the world [caption id="attachment_4709" align="alignleft" width="200"] A large chunk of Rose Quartz is perfect for sending love out to the world c. Michael Illas, Earth Blessings.[/caption] Rose Quartz is probably the best universal love stone there is. Program one to send out love to the whole world, neutralizing terror and hostility wherever it finds it and replacing it with unconditional love and forgiveness. Picture this love radiating out from the stone until it surrounds the whole world. Touch the stone each day.  A Selenite pillar works equally well. Extracted from Crystal Love by Judy Hall, Godsfield Press and The Soulmate Myth: a dream come true or your worst nightmare? Flying Horse Books.      

The Crystal Love Ritual

Traditionally, pink and green-blue stones belonged to the Goddess of Love but the oldest association of all – over 5000 years – is with the scintillating Lapis Lazuli, the deep blue of the night sky shot through with gold. So, if you want to draw love into your life, using Venus stones makes perfect sense….

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[caption id="attachment_4483" align="alignleft" width="260"] The stone of unconditional love, Rose Quartz c. Michael Illas The Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle[/caption] Traditionally, pink and green-blue stones belonged to the Goddess of Love but the oldest association of all – over 5000 years – is with the scintillating Lapis Lazuli, the deep blue of the night sky shot through with gold. So, if you want to draw love into your life, using Venus stones makes perfect sense. You can wear them, keep them under your pillow or by your bed, or place them in your bath, but the most potent method of all is to carry out a ritual with them. [caption id="attachment_4480" align="alignright" width="525"] Lapis Lazuli c. Jeni Campbell www.angeladditions.co.uk[/caption] Venus stones: Rose Quartz. Rhodochrosite, Cobaltocalcite, Mangano Calcite,  Danburite, Rhodochrosite, Green Aventurine (for love in later life), Almandine Garnet, Kunzite, Larimar, Sugilite, Pink Tourmaline, Pink Topaz, Ruby, Garnet, Tugtupite,Turquoise. [caption id="attachment_4482" align="alignleft" width="300"] Rhodochrosite c. Michael Illas, Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle[/caption] Soulmate or twinflame? Before you ask for love think hard about what you really want. Most people are looking for their soulmate but a word of caution here. Soulmates are partners to whom we are drawn across lifetimes, often because we have unfinished business, lessons to learn or a promise to keep. They are not always the blissful experience we imagine.  Fortunately even this kind of soulmate relationship can benefit from the gentle energy of crystals but you may prefer to ask your crystal to bring you a different kind of love: a twinflame. A twinflame is your true soul partner, who arrives without baggage. A twinflame is a life companion who loves you unconditionally and with whom you enjoy mental empathy, emotional rapport, spiritual connection, unconditional support, friendship, joy  and physical fulfilment, someone totally compatible. Be very specific about which kind of love you want when programming your crystal. The crystal you use will be the same, the difference is in what you ask for. A soulmate or twinflame crystal has two equal sized crystals, joined on one side possibly sharing a common base – which makes it that much more physical. Place the crystal under running water to purify it, hold it in your hands and ask that the crystal will draw to your side your soulmate or twinflame – whichever you have decided upon. The attracting love ritual Rituals to attract love are highly potent. The Attracting Love Ritual uses Rose Quartz and Danburite but you can substitute any of the love attractor crystals. Romantic Rose Quartz is prized for attracting and offering unconditional love. Its effect can be surprisingly powerful for such a gentle stone as Rose Quartz is tender and passionate, erotic and exciting. Adding Danburite emphasises the twinflame aspect of love. This crystal packs a powerful punch into a small piece. If you want loving companionship, replace Danburite with Sugilite. But if it’s a hot date you are after, replace the Danburite with lusty Ruby or fiery Garnet, powerful attractors of erotic love. Green Aventurine invites passion into the lives of those of more mature years and enables love to be ongoing. The crystals should be purified, dedicated and pre-programmed before use. . It is traditional to bathe and wear clean clothes when working a ritual and pink or red clothes are appropriate depending on whether you want romance or red-hot passion. Burning a smudge or joss stick prepares the room and you can anoint yourself with rose oil. Pink candles set the scene and appropriate background music assists your concentration. When carrying out the ritual, consciously make your movements slow, moving with voluptuous intent. If you already have a partner, rather than calling in your twinflame, ask that more love will manifest between you and that the relationship becomes the best that it has the potential to be. Timing rituals Anciently the power of the moon was used to enhance rituals. Rituals to attract something new into your life are best done on a rising new moon. Rituals to let something go out of your life are best carried out at full moon. The attracting love ritual You will need: 4 Rose Quartz l Danburite 4 candles and Rose Quartz holders Ritual: Attracting love Place your crystals and four candles on a table covered with a silk cloth. Position one candle to the north, welcoming in love from that direction as you light it. Then place one to the south, east and west, again welcoming love from each direction. Ask that the light from these candles act as guardian and keep you safe, attracting the highest manifestation of love. Take your Rose Quartz crystals into your hands and sit down facing your table (if the crystals are large, hold one at a time). Close your eyes and quietly attune to the crystals. Let their energy flow through your hands, up your arms and into your heart. As the energy reaches your heart, feel it open out and expand. Touch the crystals to your heart. Rose Quartz is a powerful heart cleanser and healer so allow your heart to be purified by the energies of the crystals. Then say, out loud: ‘I am a magnet for love. I welcome love into my heart and love into my life’. Place the crystals on the table and pick up the Danburite. Say out loud: ‘I call on my twinflame to be present and to manifest fully and lovingly in my life’ [or, ‘I call on the love between my partner and myself to manifest to its highest potential, fully and unconditionally loving and supporting us both’.]. Sit quietly for a few moments with your eyes focussed on the crystals. Picture what your life is like when you have the fully unconditional and mutually supportive love of your twinflame at your side [or when you and your partner manifest all the love that is possible between you]. Send that picture out into the future, unrolling it before you so that you can walk that path. When you are ready to complete the ritual, get up and blow out each candle in turn saying: ‘I send light and love into the world and it returns to me tenfold.’  Either leave the crystals on the table, or place them around your bed. Crystal Aphrodisiacs [caption id="attachment_4481" align="alignleft" width="300"] Pink Tourmaline in Snow Quartz[/caption] Pink Tourmaline                 If you want to spice up your love life, or need a little help in the love department, look no further than Pink Tourmaline. This beautiful stone stimulates your libido and encourages you to share physical pleasure with your lover. It is particularly effective made into a gem essence and rubbed on your wrists before bed. Red Jasper An excellent stone for stimulating your libido and for prolonging your sexual pleasure, Red Jasper energises and cleanses the sexual organs and is particularly appropriate for men. Orange Carnelian A recharging crystal, vibrant Orange Carnelian energises the creative centres, overcomes impotence or frigidity, and restores vitality to the female reproductive organs. Smoky Quartz                           If you have any hang-ups about sexual matters, Smoky Quartz helps you to accept that sex is a normal and natural – and highly enjoyable – part of life. It enhances virility and cleanses the sexual centres so that your passion flows freely. Rose Quartz                             Opening your heart centre, Rose Quartz restores love and trust between you and your partner. It teaches you how to love yourself and to receive love from someone else. This stone is said to increase your fertility.                    Red Garnet                                   Promoting passion and increasing your sexual potency, Red Garnet revives and revitalises your sex life. Red-Black Mahogany Powerful Red-Black Mahogany increases virility and stamina, keeping you grounded in your body so that sex becomes a full-body experience. Variscite                          If you or your partner find your interest in sex flagging, Variscite restores your libido, increases sexual energy and helps you to bring more unconditional love into the situation. Pietersite                                                    The perfect stone to use when old vows of celibacy have been holding you back. Pietersite resolves your internal conflicts and increases your stamina. Virility crystals Smoky Quartz: Smoky Quartz is an excellent stone for improving your virility. Place it over your lower chakras to cleanse, purify and energise them, or rub the gem essence over your lower abdomen. Shiva Lingam: a traditional stone for virility, Shiva Lingam traditionally bring to masculine and feminine energies into harmony. [caption id="attachment_4484" align="alignleft" width="200"] Shiva Lingam c. Michael Illas Earth Blessings[/caption] Additional stones for virility: Red-Black Obsidian, Red Jasper, Carnelian, Zircon

Tie cutting

I have used this method for over forty five years and it has proved to be very effective. Tie cutting does not cut off any unconditional love that exists between you and another person, but it does clear away all the karmic conditioning, the expectations and demands, ‘oughts and shoulds’ that have built up that…

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I have used this method for over forty five years and it has proved to be very effective. Tie cutting does not cut off any unconditional love that exists between you and another person, but it does clear away all the karmic conditioning, the expectations and demands, ‘oughts and shoulds’ that have built up that can interfere with a clear expression of the purpose behind a relationship and the manifestation of unconditional love. Tie cutting sets each person free to be who they are meant to be. It doesn’t necessarily split a relationship, unless it is time to move on, but it can greatly enhance or heal an on-going relationship. It can also help you to cut away from your old self or something to which you are addicted. It is extremely powerful and should only be done when you are completely sure you are ready for the cutting. Tie cutting helps all relationships including those between parents and children as well as lovers and anyone with whom you have energetic enmeshment. It can be carried out with present or past partners, or anyone to whom you feel a strong tie. The person concerned does not have to be alive. It is an excellent way to release those who have passed on so that they can continue their evolution elsewhere. To be fully whole within a relationship you need to take back any projections, free yourself from old vows or promises, have realistic expectations and allow yourself to practise unconditional love. The unconditional love and forgiveness that form part of the exercise are potent healers. If you feel you are not ready for that stage, simply move onto the next part of the exercise but try it again at a later date to see if you can express and accept forgiveness – it is extremely beneficial for your personal growth if you can. Before you do the following exercise, make sure that you are in a quiet space where you will not be disturbed. The human mind is fantastically inventive and can be most graphic in its representations of the links. Nets, hooks and ropes are common symbols. The exercise begins by using two circles. Do not let these overlap – but if they do it can tell you a great deal about the relationship. Peg them down if necessary or use a cylinder of light that completely surrounds you from the top of your head down to the ground. Part of the exercise includes burning the cords after the cutting. This transforms the energy that was held in the connection. If you have a tie that it feels inappropriate to burn, ask to be shown the right way to transform it. Shredding and composting may be the answer, burying rarely is unless it is so that something new can unconditionally flower. As cords can be located in the subtle chakras and the aura, it is important to check for links on these levels as well as those hooked into or around your physical body. It is most important that all cutting, healing and sealing is done at one go. If you ‘blank out’ or fall asleep, then go back to the beginning and start again, telling yourself that this time you will remain alert and complete the cutting. [caption id="attachment_4186" align="alignleft" width="300"] www.presentermedia.com[/caption] [caption id="attachment_4188" align="alignleft" width="300"] www.presentermedia.com[/caption] Visualisation: Tie Cutting Settle yourself comfortably in a chair. Breathe slowly and easily and relax. Picture yourself standing in a meadow or on a beach or other comfortable place. At arms length all around you on the ground mark out a circle (you can use paint, light or whatever comes to mind). In front of your circle, but not touching it, draw another circle. Standing in the centre of your circle, ask that the person with whom you wish to cut the cords will come and stand in the centre of the circle in front of you. When the person is there, explain why you are doing this work. Tell them that it will not cut off any unconditional love between you but that it will free you from all the conditioning, the expectations, the oughts and shoulds, promises, karma, etc, that have arisen in other lives or in the present one. Then ask to be shown how the links between you manifest themselves. When you can see these clearly, ask to be given the appropriate tools to remove them. Remove them from yourself first, and then from the other person. (If you find this too difficult, ask for a helper to remove them from the other person.) Pile the cords up outside the circles. As you work, heal and seal each place with light as the Tie is removed. Make sure you get all the links, especially those around the back or in hidden places. Now slowly bring your attention out from your physical body through the various layers of your magnetic sheath until you reach the outermost edge. If you find any cords, or hooks, attaching you to anyone else at these subtle levels, dissolve them with bright white light, a crystal or other appropriate tool and seal the place where they have been with golden or pink light and unconditional love and forgiveness for yourself for becoming attached. When you are sure you have removed all the cords (except those of genuine pure, unconditional love), ask for healing light to surround you, and the other person, so that all the places can be healed. Then let unconditional love and forgiveness flow both ways between you. Give and accept forgiveness as appropriate. When this is complete, move the other person back out of your space to their own space, back to where they belong. (They will most probably move out of sight. If there is any problem with this, ask for a helper to escort them out of your space. If the person is a current partner, then it may be appropriate for them to remain within sight but out of your personal space.) Now turn your attention to the cords. See a big, blazing bonfire and throw the cords onto this. As the cords burn, the energies in them will be transmuted and released. This is your creative energy, let it come back to you, helping the healing process. Move as close to the fire as you can, drawing in the transmuted energy. Fill yourself up with the energy. Let it empower you. When you feel ready to complete the process, move back to the place you started from. Notice how much lighter and freer you feel without those cords weighing you down. Let the edges of your aura crystalise to keep you free from inappropriate connections. Then slowly let yourself become aware of your body sitting in the chair, of your feet on the floor and your connection to the earth. Enclose yourself in a bubble of light. When you are ready, stand up and move around. If you are non-visual: You can work with your hands or a cleansed and dedicated crystal seeking out the places on your body where you intuitively feel there are cords and removing these with a cutting motion. Then place your hand over the spot to heal and seal it. Remember to bring your hand out from your body to check the aura and the subtle chakras removing any cords and healing and sealing the place with light and love. You can also use a photograph of yourself and the other person. If you do not have a photograph draw two outlines to symbolise the two of you. With a Smoky Brandenberg Amethyst, Rainbow Obsidian, Novaculite or Laser Quartz draw a circle (or as close as you can get it, it will probably be more of an oval) around each of you separately. If you are standing close together, take great care when working down the centre ‘join’ between you, remember that you are not doing this with any intent to harm the other person. Check out the aura around the physical body as you work. Then take a pair of scissors and separate the photograph or drawing into two halves. Place the two halves under a Rose Quartz crystal for a few minutes then take the photograph of the other person and say out loud: ‘I let you go with unconditional love and forgiveness’. Burn the photograph or shred and compost it, again remember that there is no intent to harm the other person simply to set yourself free from them, and feel the purified and restored energy returning to you. Crystals for Tie cutting: (place over where you sense a tie or work all around the aura): Flint, Novaculite, Laser Quartz, Smoky Brandenberg Amethyst, Sunstone, Stibnite, Petalite, Banded Agate, Malachite, Rainbow Aura Quartz, Rainbow Mayanite, Rainbow Obsidian, Dumortierite, Pietersite, Jasper Tie-cutter [caption id="attachment_4187" align="alignleft" width="300"] Rainbow Mayanite: rare but very effective.[/caption]