“It is only through mystery and madness that the soul is revealed”
― Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life
Last night I finally found time to watch a programme on psychosis that I’d recorded some time ago. Listening to the experiences of the people hearing voices and experiencing vivid hallucinations, I was reminded of something a schizophrenic friend asked me many years ago: “Why am I locked up and given electroconvulsive therapy for something you get paid for? What is the difference between being schizoid and psychic?”
That’s a question I’ve been pursuing most of my life. I was one of the many children who had an invisible friend. “Don’t sit on Barbara,” I screamed at a woman on a bus. Much to the embarrassment of my aunt who had to explain that Barbara wasn’t really there. “Yes she is. Only you don’t have eyes to see her,” I retorted. Age 3. The woman moved to another seat. I’ve never been sure it whether it was out of kindness or to get away from the mad child. One of my primary school friends talked to fairies, so I gave it a try. Fascinating little people. And it took my mind off the spirits haunting the graveyard behind the school.
As a child, I was always ‘seeing things that weren’t there’. Colours around people. Glimpses into the past – and the future. Strange people going upstairs to my room made me terrified to go to bed. I’d have to pluck up the courage to gingerly peer under the bed to check no one was lurking there. I needed the door open and the hall light on – and I slept with my back to the wall. Fortunately I had two psychic grandmothers who explained that I was seeing spirit people who were moving around in another dimension (not quite the words they used but you’ll get the picture). As I grew older I learned to communicate with these beings from another world, many of whom were not even aware they were dead. And so, in time, I joined a spirit rescue circle and used my gift to help them move on – or to clear spirit attachments from their unfortunate hosts. My ability to time travel is utilised in the karmic readings that assist people to know why they are here. And if you read this blog regularly you’ll know all about my crystal experiences.
Let’s return for a moment to ‘Barbara.’ Many years later I met a Barbara, psychic like me, who had lived not far from where I grew up. Her invisible friend had been called Judy. We recognised each other immediately. We both made a living from our psychicness. She as a spiritualist medium. Astrologer-me as a ‘far memory seer’ and crystal communicator. Are we/where we both mad? I don’t think so. But that’s my expanded reality. A psychiatrist friend assured me, “You’re as sane as me.” He talks to the landscape and communes in crop circles. Who is to say who is mad and who is sane? And does it really matter? Replace the word ‘mad’ in this quote with ‘psychic’ and you’ll know how I feel.
“When you are mad, mad like this, you don’t know it. Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts, departing from anyone else’s reality, it’s still reality to you.” ― Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life
The programme appeared to conclude that psychosis and voices tended to be an excess-dopamine response developed due to unbearable trauma in early life. Internalised parts of self-dialogue (that is, talking to oneself) becoming externalised. It was initially a coping mechanism but the dopamine overload produced terrifying hallucinations in later life.
“So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit.”
― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke
But, listening to the stories, in some cases I would have said it was the result of being psychically wide open and totally ungrounded. Shining a beacon of light ‘out there’ that attracted any passing wayward spirit. One of the most successful therapies involved interacting with the voices, asking them what purpose they served. In this way, they could be turned into ‘helping spirits’. The same as psychic guides, guardian angels, or crystal skull beings. Is there a difference? What is imagination, psychosis or another reality? Of course, it’s easy to generalise and I’m not saying that this psychic explanation applies to all psychiatric disorders. But it is worth considering. Train your ‘madness’, control your psychic abilities, and find a way through? My Book of Psychic Development will assist!
On the edges of the Sahara in Morocco, I went to visit a Sufi saint’s shrine. All around were ‘the mad’. Looked after and cared for by the community because they were considered to be special people, touched by the divine.
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ― Rob Siltanen
So my answer to my friend’s question all that time ago is that my psychicness shapes me but it doesn’t destroy me as his schizoidness was in danger of doing at that time. He learned to communicate with his voices, to harness their energy towards improving his life, expanding his awareness and living a fulfilled life. All that he wished for. All anyone can ask, in my view. Especially when it helps others to deal with the otherwise inexplicable.
“Maybe each human being lives in a unique world, a private world different from those inhabited and experienced by all other humans. . . If reality differs from person to person, can we speak of reality singular, or shouldn’t we really be talking about plural realities? And if there are plural realities, are some more true (more real) than others? What about the world of a schizophrenic? Maybe it’s as real as our world. Maybe we cannot say that we are in touch with reality and he is not, but should instead say, His reality is so different from ours that he can’t explain his to us, and we can’t explain ours to him. The problem, then, is that if subjective worlds are experienced too differently, there occurs a breakdown in communication … and there is the real illness.”
― Philip K. Dick
So, if you think you may be psychic, don’t worry. Help is at hand. And remember that you are in good company.
I would be delighted to welcome you to the new members' community section of my website and to have the opportunity of sharing my many passions with you.