Latest News

Chains of trust

20th October, 2018 Members Community
Trust yourself, Moss Agate

Trust yourself, Moss Agate

Was it a ‘coincidence’ or serendipity, do you think, that Green Aventurine was chosen for this Trust affirmation? Or did the person who created it know that this is a stone of mutual trust?

Carlton's Quote Corner

Image: Carlton’s Quote Corner

As I said in The Crystal Bible ‘Aventurine stabilizes one’s state of mind, stimulates perception and enhances creativity. It sees alternatives and possibilities, especially those presented by other people.’ It’s also my go-to stone for protecting my spleen chakra from the energy pirates and those who want a piece of me. I’m happy to facilitate growth but not to power it. I’m a strong believer in personal responsibility and self-empowerment. And the occasional judiciously administered kick up the bum to get things moving.

The path of trusting yourself

I woke up this morning thinking about trust. Trusting the creative process. Trusting others. Trusting myself sufficiently to recognise when to follow advice or ‘convention’ – and when to walk my own path. Respecting other people’s right to hold a different opinion, without compromising my own. Over the years this latter has caused problems in my life but I have come to see that being my authentic self is what is necessary for my soul’s growth. People pleasing and insincerity never sat well with me. I prefer straightforward, honest ‘truth’ – although I am aware that there are many truths. I am a Sagittarius after all and we are known for our brutal honesty. I’ve endeavoured to temper that with kindness and empathy. But you know what they say about Sag, especially someone with Mercury the planet of communication also in that sign: ‘No sooner thought than said’ and, my personal favourite, ‘Born with foot in mouth.’ The truth will out.

‘Since when has your ignorance been the criteria for judgement’ almost got me thrown out of uni. Fortunately it was the last week and the lecturer contented himself with a comment on my record, ‘Has very peculiar views and should not be allowed near children.’ Thankfully I had already decided that a career in schools was not the path for me.

So, this morning, when I awoke, I was thinking about the chapter I was intending to read tonight to the writing group to which I belong. The chapter centres around a séance. One recorded in some detail by a well-known Victorian writer. But I was filling in a missing piece. Sharing work-in-progress, especially first drafts, is a very intimate process that requires a huge amount of trust. Especially when there are strangers in the group. It’s akin to sharing your innermost thoughts in a blog that goes out to people you’ve never met. You simply have to trust that it will be received with a questing mind. So, I was rehearsing in my head how I would introduce my chapter to the group. I know from previous discussions that some of them have strong religious convictions. Convictions that do not embrace communication with spirits. A longstanding agreement that the group would discuss the writing rather than the topic seems to have flown out of the window over the last few meetings. So, Sag that I am, I wanted to say, ‘I have no interest in your personal opinion of séances, I need constructive feedback as to whether this works as a piece of writing. Is it seamless? Can you see the join where I have married an existing account with the fruits of my imagination? Can you embrace the world I have created for awhile, suspending your disbelief?’

In truth, that imagination of mine is informed by a lifetime spent exploring the psychic world. Personal and shared experience of mediumship in all its forms, in-depth research for a B.Ed degree, 40-plus years membership of the College of Psychic Studies, and even ancestral input. My great-grandparents co-founded a Spiritualist church. Both my grandmothers, contemporaries of the Victorian writer, were incredibly psychic. I don’t feel it’s necessary to tell the writers’ group that though. If the piece works, I shouldn’t need to. They will enter that world with me – for a time.

It struck me that this listening with an open mind is what we as crystal workers, healers, lightworkers, counsellors, therapists – or whatever label we put on our spiritual work – have to do when hearing someone else’s story. Otherwise how can they trust us? We have to step into their world. We cannot apply our worldview to their story, and especially not to force it upon them. Although many have tried. My skill as a writer will be tested by whether my audience can enter that Victorian séance room with me, or not. But the chain of trust revolves around my response to their reactions. Whether or not I can separate the nuggets that will vastly enhance my work from personal prejudice and sidetracks. Where I need to hold to my path. Or where I need to deviate.

I dont want perfect

The price of nice

‘People pleasing’ creates a kind of lethal ‘niceness’ that is not at all to be trusted.  ‘Nice’ behaviour eventually has a ‘price’ for both the ‘nice guy’ and the other person or persons involved.  It is alienating, indirectly hostile and self-destructive because:

  • The ‘nice guy’ tends to create an atmosphere such that others avoid giving him or her honest, genuine feedback. This blocks emotional and spiritual growth.
  • ‘Nice’ behaviour will ultimately be distrusted by others. That is, it generates a sense of uncertainty and lack of safety in others, who can never be sure if they will be supported by the ‘nice guy’ in a crisis situation that requires an aggressive confrontation with others.
  • ‘Nice guys’ stifle the growth of others. They avoid giving others genuine feedback, and they deprive others of a real person to assert against.  This tends to force others in the relationship to turn their aggression against themselves.  It also tends to generate guilt and depressed feelings in others who are intimately involved and dependent on the ‘nice guy’.
  • Because of the chronic ‘niceness’, others can never be certain if the relationship with a ‘nice guy’ could endure a conflict or sustain an angry confrontation if it occurred spontaneously. This places great limits on the potential extent of intimacy in the relationship by placing others constantly on their guard.
  • ‘Nice’ behaviour is not reliable. Periodically the ‘nice’ person explodes in unexpected rage and those involved are shocked and unprepared to cope with it.
  • The ‘nice guy’, by holding aggression in, may pay a physiological price in the form of psychosomatic problems and a psychological price in the form of alienation.
  • ‘Nice’ behaviour is emotionally unreal behaviour. It puts severe limitation on all relationships, and the ultimate victim is the ‘nice person’.

give you my time

The chain of trust?

So, when I write about crystals or any other topic for that matter, I’m giving you my truth as I know it at that moment. It’s open to change, to amendment, to backtracking to take another path. I’m trusting that you will understand that and that, in return, you will trust that I am sharing my truth as it stands now. As a Sag, I never stop learning. As an immortal soul who happens to be taking a human journey, I never stop growing. My aim is to live my truth as it currently exists. My hope is that you will share that truth for awhile. I don’t want to be held to a truth from the past that has been superseded. But I also trust that you will apply your own common sense and discernment to see if something works for you. If it does, great. If it isn’t a good fit, well then, find something that is. There’s always a choice. Trust yourself and your own intuition. That’s the chain of trust in action.

Trust crystals

Chrysocolla, Green Aventurine, Rose Quartz, Blue Lace Agate, Kunzite, Pink Tourmaline, Amazonite, Natural Citrine, Danburite, Sodalite, Chrysoprase, Pink Smithsonite, Pink Mangano Calcite, Lepidolite, Carnelian, Moss Agate.

crystals we trustYes!

The Members Community is now open.

I would be delighted to welcome you to the new members' community section of my website and to have the opportunity of sharing my many passions with you.

Subscribe to Judy's Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,156 other subscribers