Guest post: Suzanne Thomas, Fountain International
This month’s blog is taken from a recent newsletter by Suzanne Thomas, the founder of Fountain International. I’ve chosen it because it has such a positive attitude to the passing of a loved one – and some excellent advice on living your life to the full as well. I was prompted towards the subject because I’ve been working on my crystal skulls book and so many cultures regard skulls as signifying the joyful continuance of life in another dimension, not something to be shy away from as we do in the West. It’s the last great taboo. Let’s break through it! I’m also aware that comforting crystals can really help to lift grief – so see the end of the blog.
Here’s what Suzanne had to say:
Devastate the world with your smile
‘Into the second part of 2015 already!!!
After a particularly rough couple of months, I started to look at what to do for the July Newsletter. Looked for a July flower, then saw the above and I knew that I had found my topic.
At work we have a saying of the day. Which today was, “A smile is the one thing that has no side effects.” So one of my colleagues pipes up, that smiling can give you laughter lines, but I think that it is a small price to pay to be happy. Quite often when someone is being nasty to you, or you are given a hard task at work, just smile, and it confuses them! A smile costs nothing yet means so much to the recipient.
Devastate the world with your smile, and see how much better it makes you feel, as your brow stops frowning and the muscles in the body begin to relax.
Emotionally we decide how we are going to feel, at any time and how we react to a situation. So I would like to share with you my reaction to my mother’s death. My mother died on 16th May. She would not wish my sister and I to grieve, and to make her sentiment felt she left behind this poem for us to read. (Unfortunately I do not know who the author is.)
Shed no tears when I am leaving
They won’t help me on my way
Stop the sentimental grieving
Let it be a normal day
I am simply passing over to a better way of life
From this testing ground of living
Strewn with trouble and strife
Help me to prepare with fervour
My last moments by your side
So that I may be stronger
When I cross the Great Divide
We will meet in the hereafter
I don’t know exactly when
There will be much joy and laughter
But until then my darlings until then –
Know that I am always with you
Every minute of every day
Waking, sleeping, meditating
I’ll never be far away.
So take heart and be not lonely
Let me feel your love in prayer
And remember that I’m only
Always waiting there.
My sister and I could have decided to be totally devastated, and be in floods of tears for days, perhaps even months, and dip into a depression. My mother and I had been very close companions, and in the words of the TV program “Downton Abbey,” when one of the characters had just lost her husband, “you can either chose life or death.”
My answer has been to choose life, which is what she would have wanted. So in a sense I have gone through a rebirth, to begin to come out in my full glory. For example, I had booked a holiday for us, a few days before she died. Now I could have just cancelled, but I thought No, I am not going to hide away, if there is something that I want to do , (even if I can’t find anyone to go with me,) I will just do it. So I did, decided to be light and jokey, my fellow travellers responded, and enjoyed myself. Leaving me with a feeling of coming back to life.
As my sister and I went through the first three weeks after my mother’s death, we tried to find humour in things, which for us brought a great relief in a hard situation. For example when we looked at the brass plate on the coffin just before we left the funeral, we noticed that the year of her death had been put on as 2105. Now we could have become upset, ranted at the funeral director, but no we decided to take it as a cosmic joke saying that she had been short changed and should have gone on for another 90 odd years, which would have made her the oldest woman ever.
Also when I received my mother’s ashes, and uplifting plan came to mind. Whilst my mother was alive, she said, if she ever had to go into a home, that I would have to take her every Monday to Morrison’s supermarket. (Although it was more to do with a journey through the countryside to get to it.) To me I thought that it would give her a smile to go to Morrison’s one last time, and it would also uplift my sister and I. So into the car the ashes went, and on arrival we took her into the café to have a cup of tea. Followed by putting her in the trolley as we went around shopping. All the time we were talking to her, making jokes, and involving her in our conversation. I hope she was watching and enjoying her trip. To us it was a fitting end to the funeral. On our return from the supermarket her ashes were put into the wardrobe with my father’s, waiting to be scattered next year, when all the family is down. (On a recent
survey a lot of people put their relatives ashes in wardrobes, to wait for the right time!)
Having said all this, I don’t believe that I am making light of my mother’s passing. In honesty I do have a cry every now and again. But I have decided that I want to respond to her passing with love, happiness. Not to hang onto her, although I greatly miss our outings together, but to let her know that I am OK, as I know that she is now happy, without pain, and the restrictions of old age, (she would shout at me for saying that she was aged, as she never thought of herself as such.)
Have a look at your reactions to people and situations, see what they are doing to you physically and mentally. If they are causing you problems, why not try to take a wiser course of action. It can improve your life and health.
Here’s your Invitation from the Newsletter
If you would like to send in your own thoughts, experiences, images or comments firstname.lastname@example.org
My aim is to build a healthy spiritual network, with no boundaries, there is no need to feel alone, no matter where you are physically in the world, all are free to share, if you wish.
One of Ruby in Zoisite’s greatest qualities is soothing a grieving or broken heart. Carry one if you have lost something or someone you loved. You will find it incredibly comforting. It was my Stone of the Month in April for exactly that reason. But it also helps you to track how well you are doing on your soul’s path. A beautiful stone. Ruby in Blue Kyanite works equally well and Jeni has this beautiful one on our online store.
Another stone you could try is Eye of the Storm, Judy’s Jasper. When everything is whirling around you this stone helps you to find a calm, still centre in which to feel safe and cared for. It’s excellent for anyone who is under stress. Jeni still has plenty available on www.angeladditions.co.uk
I would be delighted to welcome you to the new members' community section of my website and to have the opportunity of sharing my many passions with you.